Drunk Monk(s)

Pepsi Spice

2004-11-30T21:44:00.000-05:00

Has anyone out there tried this intriguing new beverage? I want some reviews if so. Thank you.

christmas in november!?

2004-11-30T21:31:00.000-05:00

I have the pleasure of going to work every day to hang out with people that they have to pay me to. Ever since starbucks released the holiday cups on the caffeinated massses in the middle of november people wont stop saying the same thing. It goes something like this-

"isn't christmas like, two months away? It seems that every year they are starting this earlier and earlier. I can't take it! This is ruining my life!"

please, all of you, shut the fuck up. This happens every year. It has happened every year since I can remember and therefore does not need commenting on like it's some amazing new development. Bitch about something else. red colored cups don't change your life. holiday music doesn't change your life unless you work in the mall and then you are 15 and I dont care. so stop. please. stop.

merry christmas!

Why Pier would be better down under

2004-11-30T21:23:00.000-05:00

Pier,
The beer drinking heathens who speak fucked-up english and have summer in the winter are trying to save you from yourself. Please move down there and get this phone so I will not have to laugh at your pathetic ass again after calling some girl you kissed and saw for the last time in the sixth grade. Or stop drinking...see, doesn't moving halfway around the globe seem easier?
<3
Urby

Dan Rather for President

2004-11-23T19:44:00.000-05:00

I think I am the only person I know that likes watching cbs evening news. By six o'clock I have already read a paper or two and have been online all day so I don't watch this for the news. I watch it because I am fascinated by Dan Rather's voice and the size of his head. I knew I could never be on tv when my head didn't grow beyond normal size. His head is huge! Also, his voice was very relaxing and that matters since I have no one else around to sooth me. His comments, especially on election nights are brilliant and will be missed in four years when this country makes another mistake. Now I'll just have to watch that Brit Hume guy and determine if he is a robot or just another cold wasp.

Mom caught making baby sandwich

2004-11-23T19:38:00.000-05:00

So, apparently this is wrong. Some people don't like the crust on their peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, this lady doesn't like the stringy dark meat of the arms on her baby sandwich. I don't see the problem but then again I am on the wrong side of this moral values thing lately.

umm...

2004-11-17T21:11:00.000-05:00

So David Lee Roth is now a paramedic in NYC. This may be my chance to finally meet my hero. I just drank a pint of drano and called 911.

MoMa=$20

2004-11-16T20:20:00.000-05:00

We all know that art is for the rich but now they aren't even trying to hide their disgust for the poor. I try not to hang out with many artists as they are always hitting me up for money and smell like patchouli but they should be able to visit a museum without forgoing dinner. Someone or something is making too much money here. The Met is a million times the size and only costs $13, which is only a "recommended donation". I understand that MoMa is a private enterprise but it is a non-profit and should start to act like one a not club for the wealthy and connected. Unless, of course, I become wealthy and or connected then disregard what I just wrote.

A vote for discrimination

2004-11-16T20:03:00.000-05:00

Just read this article. This is weird since I have met two people who have worked for abercrombie. One was a hispanic gay male and the other was an asian female. They both loved working at this place for some reason. I guess folding clothes and listening to air really loudly doesn't get old for some. But I dont think this guy was discriminated against for being a minority. I think he was descriminated against because he is UGLY. The only point in going into an abercrombie is the hot girls(and boys if you so desire). I want them to keep it that way because I am a pig and need something to stare at while my friends are buying stuff. So please, no ugly people working anywhere I may have to be.

The Wu has left the building

2004-11-16T19:51:00.000-05:00

I know this is old news now that we are in the instant gratification era of news but Big Baby Jesus has passed away. Maybe there will be a resurection and we will have two easters. Would be nice if this one would fall on a weekday so I could get another market holiday. Anyway, I've been a fan of wu-tang ever since they came out (nigga please). Even got the name of this incredible blog from their shit. I am a white kid from a upper-middle class suburb, it was destiny. And yes, ODB was my favorite. Never has anyone rhymed about period blood quite like him. R.I.P.

Cheney dykefest, hot or not?

2004-11-12T18:47:00.000-05:00

Read here.

My Safety School

2004-11-12T18:22:00.000-05:00

Dear Mr. President:

The media tells us that you have received the largest number of popular votes of any president in America's history. Congratulations!

In your re-election, God has graciously granted America—though she doesn't deserve it—a reprieve from the agenda of paganism. You have been given a mandate. We the people expect your voice to be like the clear and certain sound of a trumpet. Because you seek the Lord daily, we who know the Lord will follow that kind of voice eagerly.

Don't equivocate. Put your agenda on the front burner and let it boil. You owe the liberals nothing. They despise you because they despise your Christ. Honor the Lord, and He will honor you.

Had your opponent won, I would have still given thanks, because the Bible says I must (I Thessalonians 5:18). It would have been hard, but because the Lord lifts up whom He will and pulls down whom He will, I would have done it. It is easy to rejoice today, because Christ has allowed you to be His servant in this nation for another presidential term. Undoubtedly, you will have opportunity to appoint many conservative judges and exercise forceful leadership with the Congress in passing legislation that is defined by biblical norm regarding the family, sexuality, sanctity of life, religious freedom, freedom of speech, and limited government. You have four years—a brief time only—to leave an imprint for righteousness upon this nation that brings with it the blessings of Almighty God.

Christ said, “If any man serve me, let him follow me; and where I am, there shall also my servant be: if any man serve me, him will my father honour” (John 12:26).

The student body, faculty, and staff at Bob Jones University commit ourselves to pray for you—that you would do right and honor the Savior. Pull out all the stops and make a difference. If you have weaklings around you who do not share your biblical values, shed yourself of them. Conservative Americans would love to see one president who doesn't care whether he is liked, but cares infinitely that he does right.

Best wishes.

Sincerely your friend,

Bob Jones III
President

BJIII:lw

PS: A few moments ago I read this letter to the students in Chapel. They applauded loudly their approval.

When I told them that Tom Daschle was no longer the minority leader of the Senate, they cheered again.

On occasion, Christians have not agreed with things you said during your first term. Nonetheless, we could not be more thankful that God has given you four more years to serve Him in the White House, never taking off your Christian faith and laying it aside as a man takes off a jacket, but living, speaking, and making decisions as one who knows the Bible to be eternally true.

You can't make this shit up folks.

Woops. Did not see that this was already posted here. My apologies for the dupe.

Peterson guilty! Who the fuck cares??

2004-11-12T18:06:00.000-05:00

Is this nation really full of nothing but pitiful housewives that can't get enough gossip about strangers? I didn't even realize this was going on still until they dismissed a juror the other day. I never found out why because I don't care. Who is this guy anyway that he is getting national coverage? He doesn't look like the juice or seem to have played in any major sports leagues. Out of all the muder cases that are tried in this country every year why is this one the cool one? If it turned out that after he killed her he ate the baby for dinner then that would be a story. No Oj or no baby eating, no national coverage please. We can call this the Urban trial coverage doctrine. xo.

West Wing

2004-11-10T21:43:00.000-05:00

I watched the latest episode of this show tonight. Ever since Aaron Sorkin has left this show it has become horrible. I thought the first few seasons were some of the best tv out there, on par with anything hbo did. The dialogue was witty and fast paced and intelligent (something that my comentary is not). Now they have the press secretary becoming the cheif of staff to the potus and the witty back and forth has gone the way of the dodo. Does anyone else watch this show and want to tell my how it is still good?
I would also like to tell you all that I won two dollars from the mega millions jackpot drawing yesterday that yielded no winner. Friday night I will be the winner. I can feel it. (Hey, the Red Sox won)!

P.S.

2004-11-09T19:56:00.000-05:00

I need to be told how to use picassa to post pictures on this blasted thing. Any help would be greatly appreciated and rewarded with a picture of your choice on the drunk monk(s) blog. xo.

The Second Coming

2004-11-09T19:33:00.000-05:00

I am back bitches! I told you that once the OC came back I would be reinvigorated and ready to make fun of people, places and other things.
First things first. Everyone has got to stop saying the new movie the incredibles is "actually incredible". I've heard this so many times lately I think I'm getting down syndrome. I don't understand what people who are over the age of 12 see in these movies. Please tell me you are stoned when you waste your time on this though. Cartoons and popcorn can be very inviting while fucked up but just watch the family guy.
Apparently John Ashcroft has resigned to move on to other opportunities. I knew the Yankees needed pitching bad but this is getting silly.
Josh is still winning the battle of the blogs. Once I get my form back I plan on challenging him to a vasaline death match. Stay tuned for details.
I hope one day that the closing of my blog will create as much discord as the end of that Ashley Girl. I loved this blog. Whenever in search of a halfy I looked to Ashley. R.I.P.
Question. Was it wrong of me to write in David Ortiz for president? Does this mean I don't take anything seriously?
I hear from a friend of mine that proposition z passed in California this past week. This seems to me the best alternative to decriminalization to be enacted. What it does basically is put the prosecution of marijuana users on the bottom of things police should be doing. I have to say though that it takes a lot of stupidity to get in trouble with pot. I've been a regular smoker for around six years now and nothing has ever happened to me. Then again, I guess pot smokers aren't known for their brains all the time.
well that is all for now. I am glad to be back in the game and hopefully it won't take too long for the five of you to realize that the drunk monk(s) are back.
Thank you and God bless you

A Public Service Announcement

2004-09-11T11:13:00.000-04:00

Pierluigi Cothran is not registered to vote. Lets join forces to persuade him to become a registered voter. Thank you.

ok

2004-09-08T21:18:00.000-04:00

Which Trainspotting Character Are You?

a few things

2004-09-08T21:04:00.000-04:00

so i know it's been a while. i just cant seem to muster up the energy to do this any better than half assed. i will tell you, however, that i plan on doing this blog thing right sometime in the near future. i thank all five of you out there who yell at me for not posting. so please plan on my postings to increase around the same time the oc goes back on air. i think that will excite me enough that i will have ample extra energy to divert to being witty and annoying. and to make sentences like that last one that are unpleasant to read aloud.

but for a quick side note. i see that russia has now declared war on terrorism anywhere in the world. who would have thought that 2004 would be the year the ruskies and the americans joined forces to jointly rule the middle east? i was wondering if we could make mecca look like berlin circa 1952.

oh, and i learned how to line dance to sweet home alabama over the weekend.

lastly, is everyone else as upset as i am about mcdonald's not offering super size-d portions anymore? land of the free my ass.

so this is how honest abe is viewed among some...

2004-08-22T18:26:00.000-04:00

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

so

2004-08-19T20:06:00.000-04:00

the only person who cares that i have not posted in a while is josh. thanks josh for caring. you warm my insides on a cold night. like scotch. i am taking time off bloggin because i have found humans to hang out with. be back later with some good stuff hopefully.

Five fer Tuesdays

2004-08-03T19:01:00.000-04:00

Well let me be the first to welcome you all to August. August is historically the worst month of the summer as this is when it gets really humid and really hot in the northeast. The best part of August is that it leads us into September which I consider fall because I still mentally go by a scholastic calender. Fall is the best season in New York by far. I am sure to include Fall as an item in a blog coming up so please stay tuned.

1. Jesus Candles. I have been collecting these for a while and have some good ones. My favorite candle is the Prayer of the Roses to the Virgin of Guadalupe.
Let us pray:
Oh Mother and Queen, Virgin of Guadalupe, how miraculously you appeared to the indian Juan Diego when You manifested your presence with divine roses. Accept this candle with the perfume of roses, oh Guadalupana, a small offering of my devotion in order that my prayers and the sweet fragrance of roses may be brought to your divine son, our saviour, Jesus Christ. Amen.
ps. this candle smells nothing like roses so I think I am lying to the Virgin everytime I recite this prayer.

2. Pink Floyd's I Wish You Were Here. All I do is crave acid or mushrooms everytime this is on. Very psychadelic and nice to listen to. Please send acid or mushroom donations to 333 River St. #1149 Hoboken, NJ 07030.

3. I dislike Harold Bloom's How to Read Well and Why. I'm not sure why I bought this but I think I remember Josh speaking about him...am I correct? I'm willing to give this guy more of a chance but this book is so uninteresting. It makes me not want to read which I think is the opposite response intended. It consists of him giving felatio to Shakespeare and rehashing everything I heard from my proctors in college. Maybe they were just rehashing this guy's shit but it still doesn't matter.

4. Entourage week three. This was very amusing. Dillon had me laughing a few times this episode and I hope they continue his absurdness in the future episodes instead of his irrelevence in the previous two. Next week I want to see boobs. Come on, don't these kids go to strip clubs? I know I would go every Sunday for brunch and have roast beef sandwiches if I had that kind of cake.

5. Women with machine guns. Wow, does this turn me on. Thank you terrorists for helping me come to terms with my attraction to chicks with guns. Tomorrow after work I am going to try to hit on the female national reserve guard outside penn station. Wish me luck and please have your cellphones on in case I become and enemy combatant.

and that my friends is my post for the third day of Augusto. Take care and I'll see you on the radio.

so i guess i am crazy

2004-07-28T19:07:00.000-04:00

You will perish of fits. Repeat this to yourself:
"Things can work out even if I don't get
my way. Things can work out even...."

What horrible Edward Gorey Death will you die?
brought to you by Quizilla

five fer tuesdays on wednesdays

2004-07-28T18:46:00.000-04:00

I didn't get a chance to post anything yesterday as I was busy drinking one dollar beers at a strip joint called the squeeze lounge. So:

1. Dumb strippers. I met one yesterday. She was Russian. I asked her where in Russia she was from. She replied, "You wouldn't know it." I insisted. She replied, "Moscow." Wow. I then asked her if she was a 36-A as she was kind of flat for a stripper.

2. blue cheese has now become a food staple to me. it always kind of was back in buffalo but i have brought the tradition to hoboken. i like to eat it on fried chicken while i am at work. the fat people get so mad at me because i can eat all this shit and stay skinny. but then i get nervous because they stare at me and i feel like they might try to eat me.

3. ricky williams quit football to get stoned. good for him. i hate the dolphins and this makes it even more fun for me to hate them.

4. barack obama has great presence. this is the one quality that i ask of public officials. besides intelligence that is. i wish i had presence. and i wish i had presents.

5. i was going to type here that i wish this thing had spell check. but i see now that it does. hmm. i feel more stupid every day. so i guess i'll say that july should have stayed thermidor.

goodnight.

what the fuck is this?

2004-07-22T20:43:00.000-04:00

i feel like more of a loser since doing this. i dont even know what this show is.

You're Jimmy! You're the big man on campus. You're
sure of yourself, the star basketball player,
and a great, devoted boyfriend. You have a bit
of an anger problem though, maybe because of
your neglectful parents. Too bad your long-term
girlfriend Ashley dumped you, and you're now
stuck in an on-again, off-again relationship.
If you stop being so dependent, you'll realize
you can make yourself happy. Oh, and don't take
all your anger out on your best friend
(Spinner). He means well. And props for being
so accepting with Marco's

Which Degrassi Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

well that week went by fast

2004-07-20T20:29:00.000-04:00

Five fer Tuesday's with morrie whom i met in heaven

1.Pier being a hipster. Once you finally admit this it will be easier for all of us and you can continue feeling superior to southerners.

2. Trading vernacular. (Not to be confused with Obsolete Vernacular). The trading desk where I work sounds like the gem saloon in deadwood. I get to use fuck as a noun, verb and adjective often and am looked at silly if I use a lesser swear, like shit. And the women are the worse offenders. I heard one of them say today, "leave me the fuck alone asshole. I'm on the rag!" That was around 7:45am.

3. Iran links to 9-11. I was getting a little tired of seeing Iraqis die anyway. Time to move on to invading Iran so I'll have to cancel my two-week family vacation in Tehran.

4. Indiana Jones. I love all these movies for some reason. I think it's beacuse I always wanted to be a Nazi and these movies make it look so fun. Or maybe because I always wanted to use a whip as my primary defense, instead of sarcasm. Who knows? Anyway my favorite is Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. Short Round was robbed by not getting a nod from the academy. Please share your favorites below as responses are the only way for me to measure my popularity (or lack of).

5. Linking on my blog. Everyone else seems to do it so I am going to start playing by the same blog-rules. Even if they make no sense, like this one.

Five fer Tuesdays

2004-07-13T19:22:00.000-04:00

So picking five things that i like every week is hard. another couple weeks and i will have gone through everything that i have liked in my lifetime. but until then:

1. McDonald's #1. and supersize me you sexy 16 year old mother of three. ( out my window is a large mcdonalds billboard and i think it is working)

2. west wing repeats on bravo. i may have mentioned this before. or pier may have but i turned him onto it so he doesn't count. this is the only tv show i watch on a regular basis. the witty banter is enjoyable and the feminist is hot hot hot.

3. the muppets. that fucking chef is hilarious. i am simple...so what

4. throwing penny's of tall buildings. so far i have done it off the empire state building. the eiffel tower. i have some work to do. heads up.

5. suicide girls. this is just too good to not be mentioned twice. thanks pier. i have a tattoo fetish that needs to be satisfied by one or more than on of the suicide girls showing up at my apt. please. now.

lassitude

2004-07-12T20:17:00.000-04:00

So nothing has interested me in the past few days to bitch about. i spend so much time bitching that sometimes i become tired and must rest. the rest should be over soon, but i make no promises. i'm sure everyone is a bit teary-eyed now but dont fret.
here are two things that have been keeping me busy:

the of montreal cd "satanic panic in the attic". very enjoyable cd. i think it may be impossible to be unhappy during this cd full of sunshine. very poppy. rhyming titles always tickle my tummy the right way as well.

from beirut to jerusalem by thomas friedman. i'm sure you all know of him from the op-ed page of the times or have read this book already as i am slow to the game most of the time. it's a very well told history/story of his time in the middle east. you sacrifice some historical information for a well paced interesting long op-ed type of novel. would recomend it if you want an easy introduction to the fun that is the middle east.

i will be back tomorrow with my usual nonsense. enjoy orangemen's day all you northern irish men and women.

you lost because god hates slave owners

2004-07-07T20:56:00.000-04:00

so i have to rant about something. that is the point of these blog things, right?

now that kerry has chosen edwards as his veep (thank you) the topic of edwards being from the south has come up again. now, god damn it, why can southerners only want to vote for other southerners?? we elitist northerners vote for politicians from the south all the time and we even enjoy it sometimes. it seems unless someone speaks slowly and with a lisp they must try to win office without the south. attention southerners: yes we beat you in the civil war! get over it! you were fucking using africans as slaves! stop being proud of your crazy backwards heritage of jim crow, cotton, and lynching and embrace civil rights with the rest of us snobs. this makes me see purple. it's bad enough we have to put up with the south's addiction to crazy religion, can we please not have to worry about whether our politicians were born in a state that still flys the stars and bars. god damn. the only reason we tolerate the south is that they gave us sweet tea and bojangles, which are awesome.

five fer tuesdays

2004-07-06T21:24:00.000-04:00

josh, i will put up these things as you are requesting more urby. i am never one to dissapoint. i was on vacation this weekend and will try to be more respectful to my audience as pertaining to output. sorry.

1. being a registered independent. this really irks the wonks in dc. let me clarify. the republicans scare me but man can they do the game of politics. the democrats get my vote because they dont scare me as much. i am independent because both parties are absurd and i tend to change my mind on issues the more i learn about them. this apparently isn't allowed in the donkey or elephant party.

2. bukowski poetry. i've been into this guy for years but he's such a crazy bastard that i love him because he makes me feel sane. reading some of it before bed ensures dreams which feature me and and eighteen year-old. nuff said.

3. the movie risky business. i first watched this movie this past weekend. i had no idea it was soft core porn. i loved it. i wouldn't have beleived anyone if they had told me the plot was that tom cruise turns his parents house into a brothel while they are on vacation as he is attending high school. booger is great. the pimp named guido is greater. best tom cruise movie sans top gun and cocktail.

4. byob or wine restaurants. i'd rather not pay the restaurants the 100%-200% mark-up on their shit wine. i wish they would stop handing out liquor licences everywhere so i can do this more.

5. molina. he is really entertaining in spider man 2. i actually enjoyed the movie as the cheesy campy summer flick that it was. not a bad way to spend 2 rainy hours....unless you have a horny girlfriend.

happy tuesday bitches!

ny post

2004-07-06T20:56:00.000-04:00

did anyone see the post this morning? if you haven't, the cover story today was that john kerry picked gephart for vp. that had to be a fun office to be in this morning. how does this happen? isn't the post the same paper that had dewey beating truman? they should just stick to publishing zionist propaganda and giving the yankees blowjobs because that's what they're good at.

happy birfday, america

2004-07-06T20:24:00.000-04:00

so me being the uber-patriot that is currently required under this administration i spent the fourth of july weekend in our nations capital, washington dc. i really like dc and always have a good time there. the people of the two cities are very different, but, they both think that they live in the capital of the country...it's just that people in new york are right. washington is the city of dorks. you know that kid who won the spelling bee four years in a row in high school? he lives in dc. likewise goes for the debate team captain and the kid who wore a dukakis button in 3rd grade. people everywhere think it is ok to tuck in button downs into shorts and debate whether the texas model or the california model of politiks is the way to go. dorky!! but the bars are fun, the girls hot and the atmosphere stimulating so i give it four thumbs up. i even got to spend the fourth in senator daschles office in the capital building. thanks grant!
now on to my current issue. since its opeing in may i have been looking forward to going to the veterans of WWII memorial on the mall. My grandfather is a veteran of the pacific theater and this war has captured my imagination more than any other of the twentieth century. it was a world war in the very sense of the world and it has almost universal support as being our most just and heroic war fought.
with this in mind i went to visit it with some friends yesterday. the first impression i got from it was that it was the largest war memorial that i have seen. i dont know the exact measurements but it is immense. it is also on a prime location on the mall by the washington monument and looking at the lincoln memorial. these are the only two design aspects that i thought were appropriate and done well. i think WWII was important enough to justify both the scale and real estate that is on. after walking around and absorbing the detail i realized that this monument was cold. it left me trying to force the emotion i wanted to feel from it rather than inflicting it upon such as the brilliant vietnam veterans war memorial does. the WWII memorial has a wall with 4,000 stars on it representing 100 casualties each. 4,000 stars is a lot of stars and it attians some impact but i dont get why they divided by 100. why not 50, or 200? one star should represent one person. it would make it that much more powerful and would help people comprehend just how large a number that is instead of making is multiply, which half of us cant do anyway. my second greivence is that they have a bunch of pillars with states names on them, plus the protectorates of the US which helped. why is this used? all the states contibuted to this war, no one thinks otherwise. its a very random decison and makes no logical sense to me. then they split the states up into the two theaters of war; pacific and atlantic. all states contributed to both theaters so this also makes no sense to me. lastly, even though i dont really like this memorial i believe that it is very important that our country finally got their shit together enough to make one. it should be embarrassing to everyone that it took this long to memorialize our fathers and grandfathers sacrifices, especially when so many veterans have already passed away and many more are now unable to visit due to dissabilities. unless you have served in a war i dont think you can appreciate how much these symbols of gratitude mean to the veterans. i know i cant. but its the least we can do.

norwood

2004-06-30T22:21:00.000-04:00

thank you boston red sox for letting me down yet again. i'll be paying for lunch tomorrow.

five fer tuesdays

2004-06-29T20:39:00.000-04:00

so pier is telling me he does this so i should to. well, i'm convinced.

1. Boston Red Sox vs. the yankees. This is the best sports rivalry this side of England v Germany. i'm on the losing side and i still love it. for those of you who aren't into baseball i am sorry. it is a very good excuse to drink for four hours on a tuesday night.

2. broken social scene's you forgot it in people album...just been listening to it a lot lately and if you havn't then i guess you should.

3. coffee. it is the only reason i am able to work.

4. fagistan. this blog cracks me up and is the bar to which i one day hope to reach. it is blogrific and i have been spreading the word. thanks josh.

5. church bells. whenever i here them going off i know what time it is. i think it is lovely that the church near me finds this necessary. i would like a part time job being the bell-master if possible.

there you have it. only three more work days.

on to the land of donkeys and elephants

2004-06-28T20:52:00.000-04:00

so i guess i'll take my stab at politics...

disclaimer-i type in a babbleing manner. i use outlines when i have to write something serious but dont want to waste time on this as i am not being graded and or care. bear with me. thanks.

So the us govt returned sovereignty to iraq today, two days earlier than expected. first off i want to say that, everything else aside for a moment, that this was a very good idea. with everything going so crazy in iraq lately no one expected the us to hand over anything to iraq early. i know a lot of people are going to say that this is largely a symbolic gesture which means very little to the progress of iraq. i want to disagree with some of that. i think grand symbols are what are necessary right now. transfer of sovereignty is a grand symbol. people can understand these things. when they see that bremer has left iraq they start to take deadlines that we impose seriously. we need to be taken more seriously in iraq. the sooner the iraqis realize that the americans will leave eventually and they will have to own up for their own actions the better this whole situation will become. iraqis have to get used to the idea of fighting other iraqis right now or else there is going to be trouble. the sooner we stop fighting for them the better. now, i didn't agree with the iraq war but the iraqis have to start getting there shit together. we need an iraqi police force and army that is willing to kill iraqi insurgants if need be. you cant be bitching that your electricity doesn't work when you wont tell the us soldiers where the people who blew up the reactor are hiding. i am of the few in my circle who think this iraq thing can work out if smart people on both sides are used to implement the necessary planning. if you think a democracy can be made out a dictatorship in a year and a half then you need to stop watching mtv becasue it is affecting your patience. those who think islam is incompatible with a democratic government dont know what they are talking about and need to read a book, preferably more than one. a strong religious component can be mixed with democracy as seen in israel, turkey, and even here in the us. all of us non-believers need to recognized that we are a small minority. in a recent poll 59% of those surveyed claimed that religion plays an important part in their life. we live in a democracy and therefore we have to let them voe to. but back to islam. jews and christians used to live under the sultan with the same rights as muslims. just because we are witnessing a time where there is increased hatred for westerners doesnt mean that it will last. the muslim world is far from unanimous in its rejection of the west. there are still many people, in some regions even a majority of muslims with whom we share certain basic cultural and moral, social and political beliefs with. there is a significant western presence-cultural, economic,diplomatic- in the middle east. we even have allies over there. so what was i talking about...i dont know. oh yeah. i think that iraq could become a democracy given time, care, and a lot of money. now that we are there we have to make it work. we are already seeing the after affects of looking like idiots over there by not being able to convince even nato to help us out. the modern world now has a vested interest in seeing iraq survive into a fledegling democracy. everyone needs to stop pointing fingers and help out. this is why i am voting for kerry as i think he can unite us with our old friends who wont even talk to bush becuase they are having fun saying, i told you so! you tell em france. this coming from a nation that is a year away from banning imigration totally and maybe kicking muslims out of their country if the crazies prevail. they need to realize that muslims are to them what mexicans are to us....cheap labor and nannies! haha just kidding. they are a growing minority that likes to reproduce so whitey better watch out because the math doesn't add up in your favor. anyway this is a ramble and i am tired of typing so i will put up more some other time. please comment as i enjoy discussion and different viewpoints. thanks.
p.s. what is britney thinking getting engaged to a guy who has a kid and another on the way with his black ex girlfreind. is she looking for the best way to be on the cover of the yellow pages? these people make me look sane.

what to say

2004-06-28T20:47:00.000-04:00

So i find this blog thing a bit cumbersome to use as an outlet. i was never one to write in a diary as a kid as i used tv and video games to distract me from my real worries. also, these things seem to be used as a measure of wittiness. boring. so this leaves me with political commentary or sports bickering. not sure if i want to do that. what else can i use this thing for? all this does is seem to take away time and typing that i could be spending writing something important.

Ramadan

2004-06-23T21:57:00.000-04:00

I am currently harvesting a crop of bologna
will be back as soon as they let me out
captain underpants has assured us all

be back later with this poem in iambic pentameter

if it were 1995 i would be watching 90210 right now

2004-06-16T21:10:00.000-04:00

so i realize that i need to post to this thing more but i am reluctant to bore my limited audience...but here goes...and i also need to start using more conjunctions so i dont sound like a robot.

Story:
I am taking the accela train from boston (land of hot 18 year-olds) to new york (land of hot everything else) and a cute olive skinned brunnette with green eyes sits down next to me. in case you dont know this description is similar to the women i masturbate to in my mind. anyway, we have amazing conversation for the whole three and half hour trip. she is smart, exotic, hot and interesting. I get her email from her and we part ways at penn station. so the next day or so i email her. today i get a response telling me that i am the nicest and most interesting person she has met in a long time (i'm not making this up). She signs the email xoxo. exciting. why this is a great story if you aren't me is that she is exotic because she is brazillian and i met her on her way back to brazil after a one year stay in the states and i probably wont see her for a long time if ever as she is going to college in brazil and then plans to go to law school. life one, urby 0.

enjoy my pain kids!

and the open mouth kiss goes to...

2004-06-16T21:06:00.000-04:00

no one.

the answer is a wu-tang clan lyric
..here comes the drunk monk wit a quart of balyntine...

but let the record show that i will open mouth kiss anyone for some money and a slim jim.

Trivia

2004-06-15T22:34:00.000-04:00

From what or where did I take the name drunk monk? The winner gets to open-mouth kiss me for 15 seconds. Then we can spoon.

Who to thank....

2004-06-14T17:44:00.000-04:00

First off, I would like to thank God...and Patrick Swayze.

That is all.

Sorry

2004-06-14T17:41:00.000-04:00

I see now that pier has advertised my poor attempt at a blog. I have been away for the last few days so once i get my shit together i will get back to this thing. Sorry to those who clicked the link to see only two blogs...i will soon give birth to more words.
Until then have fun and check back when you are bored.

Boston

2004-06-10T18:43:00.000-04:00

I am going back to Boston this weekend which is very exciting. Mani has been nice enough to extend offerings of lodging to me and my roommates. Thank you gipper for giving me Friday off. You have made it to the top of my favorite dead presidents list (formerly held by Nixon). I will call people drunk from bukowski's most likely saturday midday. You are drunk! I will say.

p.s. A broker I work with was telling a story today at work and the only parts I heard were...lipstick.....pecker....face....
I didn't know people used the word pecker still but I love it and plan to use it often starting on the muslim sabath this week.

Round Two Bitches

2004-06-10T18:09:00.000-04:00

Yeah so I like this one better and therefore this will be the new voice of the drunk monk...when i get a reply it becomes drunk monks. I'm here for the gangbang.